You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
