Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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