hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize