I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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