ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
