just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
