I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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