I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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