we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
