i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
