he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
