Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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