found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
