I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
