You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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