I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
