HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
