.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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