Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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