so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize