You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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