if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
