Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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