Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
