No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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