We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
