Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
