Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
