I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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