I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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