Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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