can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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