Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
