you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
