we have officially lost it.
Pappa wants mamma naked
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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