Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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