btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
