Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He passed out mid-signature
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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