i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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