She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
