I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
