My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she smelled like a LAN party
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
