O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize