Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
