I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
