im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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