sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
