Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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