I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
