Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize