guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you never un-have a 4some
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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