I want to have your abortion
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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