the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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