I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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