She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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