Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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