I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
