Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
