whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
