I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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