Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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