Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
