i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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