she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
